Not at the DINNER TABLE!!!

So today my in-laws came over for lunch - - a really impromptu thing - since my father-in-law and I have been at odds a bit lately. The brought ribs and brisket and an Italian Creme cake, so Joygirl was not going to complain. All in all it was going well. While we were eating, my MIL noticed a bracelet that my daughter Amber was wearing. She explained that it was mine but that she had one just like it in another color and that we had gotten them as stocking stuffers.

In jumps Darling Rikki, my 14 year old.

"Yeah, I got one too - - along with some makeup brushes, and earrings

and... oh and

BIG HAIRY BALLS..."

Imagine the stunned silence that surrounded the dinner table at that moment. My in-laws looked as if they were about to fall over. I just KNOW that they are thinking that my girls learn this kind of stuff from me because "their baby" would never teach his daughter to talk like that.

I broke the quiet - -

"Rik, dont EVER say that at the dinner table - - or anywhere for that matter!

"Say what Mom?"

in shushed tones "big hairy balls".

"But Momma, that's what we got!"

At this point my FIL is laughing, my MIL snorting...

and I am red as a tomato... Ahhhh children. What a way to break the tention at the dinner table today.
_____________________________________________

So I know, I know. You are wondering "What was she talking about??"
Get your minds out of the gutter and look below!! ;)

Pics!

Here is a pic of My friend Jennie and I from last weekend. You can read about it a few blogs back...









This is Jennie and her Mom Faye and myself - - Joy's not looking so hot, huh?


Annnnnd, she's gonna hate me for this one...

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head...

My poor Husband...

He is so sweet - - so earnest - - so clumsy.

Last night he decided that he would go out into the garage and attack the den of iniquities that has become his shop. You could not even find a wrench if you wanted to before, so I "ever so sweetly" asked that he straighten it up. It is a project that he has needed to start up for quite some time. He went out there full of energy and ready to go...

go into a downward spiral that is...

Things were going fine - - he cleaned it all up put a bunch of stuff into the cabinets that he installed last year, He moved a lot of things to where they are supposed to go in the drawers of his tool chests, it all look SO much better. He had time to spare right? He decided that he would do some work on his motorcycle. I was in here watching Son In Law (because Pauley Shore never stops being funny to me, call me a victim of the era I grew up in)when all of a sudden I hear the worse banging and clanging out in the garage. I jumped up and ran out to the garage to find my husband kicking and yelling at inanimate objects. There might have been a little cussing involved as well...

Come to find out, he reached up into his cabinet to get something and the whole cabinet came crashing off the wall. All of his neatly put away things? They poured out all over his work bench and floor. I went to see if I could possibly help, relieved that he was okay. There was one more cabinet up on the wall - one lonely cabinet that was standing strong up on the wall. He goes to move the fallen cabinets and the last cabinet falls - almost on his head. It was too funny. I started to chuckle but it was pissing him off so I went back inside.

There was quite a bit of banging and clanging coming from the garage for the next 45 minutes or so, and then he emerged from the garage - dirty and reaking of gasoline. Whatever - - all in all he seemed okay. I didn't have to duck and cover from the anger explosions! LOL

He was hungry. I told him we had some hotdogs left over from the grill the other day. He went in to the kitchen (after cleaning up of course) and gets to work. I was sitting in the office watching my movie and out of the corner of my eye I see him slinging a bottle of something. I look just in time to see him sling hotdog relish all over the tile. The splat seemed to echo. The silence was deafening. I quietly ask "Why did you sling that?" He replied "I dont know. I was trying to get it out of the bottle." I walk into the kitchen hoping to see a little blob of relish - - instead I saw about a 4 1/2 foot swath of it across the tile. This from my husband. My husband - - who has a Masters lever college education.


He is just looking at me with this dang it look on his face waiting for me to freak out on him for ruining my clean kitchen...

I started to laugh... I mean, laugh so hard I almost pee'd my pants. At first he was grumbling at himself but then he started to laugh as well. We were dying. What else could go wrong for him?? When stuff like this happens you just have to make the best of it and laugh - - right? Some days, you just can't get anything right.

SO we headed off to bed - call an end to this day and start off tomorrow, right?
But nooooooooo.....my husband is not a quitter.
He rolled over and tries to start up "another project".

Okay, so maybe he can still do some things right... ;)

No More Picklehead

THERE IS SOME JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD...

The nation finally got rid of Miss Kelly Picklehead on American Idol tonight.

And the best part? They did not have her sing... WHEW!!!

I'm sure her "star will shine bright" for a little while but then, in true Hollywood fashion, it shall fade - - thank God. At least she can count on an illustrious career as a stripper back in Abermarle blah blah blah...

Oh,
And the title of my last post? That was what my daughter asked me when she looked at Andrea Bochelli. And yes, he IS blind... LOL

Dude... is Andrea Bochelli blind or something??

I was already online when AI came on tonight so I decided it would be fun to make my comments as they were singing and then say whether I agree or disaggree with the judges... Here goes nothing...

Katherine - I Have Nothing - Loved the yellow dress - - DAMN she was hot tonight. She started out a little rocky and was a little off pitch but my oh my she nailed it. Loved the attitude. A little campy - overdramatic -just like Whitney.

I think the judges are being too rough on her! Are they even watching the show tonight? Yes, I agree that she was "pitchy" but I think she really pulled it off. Geez - - have they listened to Kelly Pickler at ALL this season? I swear if the judges wax on about Kelly tonight I will retch...
_______________________________________________________________________________
Elliot - A Song For You - What he needs is a bigger tie...Who is Donnie Hathaway? LOL! The lighting is incredible on him. Why does Elliot always seem so unsure of himself in his facial expressions? As usual, his vocals are incredible. He was phenomenal. First thing Elliot needs to buy when he makes it big? Porcelen Veneers.

Paula - suck it up with the crying for petes sake... I agree with the judges
Oh great - next is Kelly Picklehead.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Kelly - Unchained Melody - Dear God... If this dumb blonde does not go too the bottom three this week I SWEAR this show is 100% rigged. She should never have stood up on Ohhhh. She's sharp, flat sickening as usual and she stank up the stage. That was painful...

Hello the high note sucked Randy... Go ahead Paula - tell her she sucked. FINALLY Simon was honest. She was henious. There is a picture of her next to the work henious in the dictionary now...
_______________________________________________________________________________
Paris - Memories - Sweetie - - black girls should not sing Barbara Streisand...

I disagree with the judges - - she pulled it off but barely. And Paula said she was the best female vocal of the night... No. Katherine has her beat.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Taylor - Just Once - Eww hes flat and sharp - - he started to get better - - lots of growling
You know Paula will love it. As my friend Crystal just told me - - bad karaoke.

If Randy says "I dont know whats going on tonight" once more... I'll scream. Simon was right on bad lounge act - - and I think Paula is suffering from PMS. See, I think he does ok, but American Idol good? I mean, these 6 people are suppposed to be the best of all the millions of people that auditioned...
_______________________________________________________________________________
Chris - Have really ever loved a Woman - I like the touch of hte guitarist on either side of him. The tempo is a little fast - making him struggle. I LOVE THIS MAN! I think he pulled it off with GUSTO!!

The judges agree with me...
_______________________________________________________________________________

Who has my vote? KAT and CHRIS

Who has GOT to be in the bottom three?

PICKLEHEAD! For the love of Peter, Paul and Mary combined!

I gotta go - - We have cows... ("Twister" reference)

I am sitting here with my husband and Daddy watching the favorite sport of the state of Oklahoma every spring.

We call it

TORNADO WATCH/WARNING

The media has literally made a sport out of it here. The ever famous Gary England of KWTV Channel 9 is the best showstopper. He's the weather gut that you see in the movie Twister. He is the best weatherman in the state and he is a legend. Anyhoo, he's got his storm chasers going after tornados tonight. Val and Mason are my favorite stormchasers. The get the most excited...

Channel 9 just bought a new high falutin' helicopter and camera and we have been watching amazing footage. My poor Dad - - it was so painful for him as we watched a tornado head straight for the brand new hangers at El Reno Airport. It tore it apart and plane are shredded. I bet I know what his next presidents article will be about for the Oklahoma Pilots Association.

Hey I've got a great idea for a drinking game here in Oklahoma. Every time Gary England says "Hook Echo" you have to take a shot... Whaddaya think??

Whooooo Hoooo - it's gettin' excitin' tonayt her in Oklahoma.

This ladies and gentlemen is about as redneck as I can get for you...

Gotta go - I'm missing the show!

This weekend I...

I went to to Tulsa this weekend to see one of my dearest friends - - Jennie Rikkola. Sunday her family had a ginormous 90th birthday party for Grandma Peg Rikkola so the whole Rikkola family has emerged onto the Rikkola family compound in Owasso and started partying likes its 1999.

I finally got to meet Jennie's husband. He's a Star Wars freak like my husband. Really nice guy. Exactly what I would have picked for Jennie.

And of course, I got to flirt with a certain Mr. Man. He's a gorgeous, blondish, blue eyed doll.

Oh, and he's one.

------------------------------------------------------

Sickos, Im talking about Jen's little boy Gavin.

My Jin went with me (Sara decided to forgo the trip because it was Popcorn day at school and that is apparently like Christmas to her) Jin had a blast playing with Jennie's little girl Cloie.

I got to see Jen's parents Tom & Faye and her sisters as well. I had a blast. This family is so amazing. Most people do not have such a family! They love each other so much. They joke, laugh, actually talk to each other, and treat each other with care and love. The most incredible thing about this family is how they make you feel like you are a part of the family.

There are just not enough families like that anymore. I WISH that my family was that tight.

I could tell go on, but I will instead use this particular blog entry to solicit Jennie Rikkola - Prince.

JENNIE, IT IS TIME YOU GET A BLOG! GO TO THE TOP LEFT HAND CORNER OF THIS BLOG AND CLICK! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! ;)

She has a million and one stories in a single day that are fantastically hilarious and she is being stingy with the rest of the world by not sharing them!!!

**Well, for some reason I cannot post the pictures that I took. Flippin' blogger!***

Stat Counter

So I have been reading my friends blogs and several have been commenting on stat counter and the funny things that their blogs get referred for. My main referral?

ARMANDE ASANTE

"What?" you ask...

Wellllll... back in Aug 2005 I did a rant blog about running into Armande Asante at the mall and what a jerk he was to us.

I cannot believe how many people search for him on google...

Why???

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all that.

Oh, and Mr. Asante, even if you are a big jerk in person to very nice and helpful people in the mall, I still think you did really well in "The Odyssey"

Family Pictures

Yesterday we made the trek to Tulsa to take family pictures. Why Tulsa? Because of Woodward park. This time of year the azaleas are in full bloom and it is beautiful! What we didn't expect... Heat. Opressive heat. JULY heat - - and the added bonus of humidity. Florida-esque humidity. Yippee...

No matter - - if the azaleas bloom, they will come. And we did.

It really wasnt that bad. Yes, it was friggin' hot, but manageable. The hair was trashed for me though. Everyone in the family has curly hair but me! I had bought white dresses for Sara and Jin and white cotton shirts for Everyone else but myself... I found ONE but it was too big. Whatever, I bought it and it looks like a moo-moo shirt on me, but I had to match!!

We had a lot of fun. My best friend came to the park and took the pictures of us as a family.

Here are a few of the pictures.

American Idol Ga-ga

I was so excited to see AI last night - - mainly because they were singing the songs of one of my all time favorite bands - Queen. I grew up on Queen. I remember singing Bicycle while riding my bike with the training wheels still attached. My brothers and I used to love to sing Flash Gordon and act it out, LOL. And my Mom and I would sing The Show Must Go On. I won't go on though...

That's not what this post is about though. This post is about how utterly disappointed I am in the AI judges and a few of the singers last night.

Here I go down the list...

Bucky - Fat Bottom Girls - I COULD NOT believe that he say this. And in his intro he actually said "Cause everyone loves to see fat bottom girls" OMG, I was cracking up.
He actually did it okay though! Don't get me wrong - - I am on the "Vote Bucky off" bandwagon, but he did okay - - kind of made it a southern rock sound - -it was ok! My 6 year old, Sara, was rocking to it - - it's her fave Queen song, lol.

Ace - We Will Rock You - Again, Sara was jamming - literally singing at the top of her lungs until hubby told her to hush.
I have to say I felt sorry for Ace... The way Brian May just shut him down when Ace was trying to get him to change the way he played his music...Priceless - - and Oh so uncomfortable to watch! Dear, sweet Ace. God he's pretty, but he's starting to annoy - - seriously annoy. His voice was not near tough enough for this song - - oh and he just had to throw in his falsetto - - on we will rock you??? No. I was waiting on him to start rubbing his scar again...

Kelly - Bohemian Rapsody - ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH! This girl MUST be "servicing" the judges somehow... Did ANY of the judges hear her SING?????? She literally butchered the song. God she grossed me out from beginning to end! She sharp, she was flat, she ran out of breath - - must I go on? She can barely carry a tune - - shes doing well off her looks alone - and obviously not her brains - they're not there. I CANNOT believe they had nothing negative to say... I am SO disappointed in Simon. Can you tell I am getting a little miffed about her? LOLOL

Chris - Innuendo - I was worried about this song because it is so unknown. But you know what?
IT'S ALL CHRIS.
Dang that boy is good.

Katherine - Who wants to live forever - Stunning - she kept giving me chills. She was a little throaty belting the song out, but she was awesome. And the lighting?? Phenomenal. I swear, AI has gotton so much better in their production quality.

Elliot - Somebody to Love - great voice, great song. Had to close my eyes again. I can't look at him.

Taylor - Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Simon was hilarous on this "Taylor, are you drunk?" It was a mess... and I swear - when he dances it's like a full on body
spasm.

Paris - The Show Must Go On - Gave me chills. Possibly the best Miss Paris has done.

Overall? Katherine and Chris -

Who should Go? KELLY, but since that won't happen... BUCKY.

(Can I also just say that I LOVED watching my 6 year old Jam to Queen last night??)

Oh, want to hear a rip of The Tem Commandments that played on ABC on Monday and Tuesday nights? Go see my husband. Just click on The Hot Husband over at my blogroll on the right. Go see all my other friends while you are there!

Mom always said "Don't run in the house"

Yeaaaah... could that be more true?

So yesterday when the husband got home from work, the cable guy was here, the girls were all hyper from the fact that we ordered Pizza for dinner and Mom and Dad did not help the situation AT ALL...

We were just as hyper - - Not sure why. The cable guy must have thought we were a crazy family!

So back to the story... I went into the bedroom where Husband was changing clothes and we started teasing each other - - one thing led to another and the next thing I know he's chasing me through the house. We got to the living room and I hear my daughter say "Don't run in the house" in her most motherly tone. Just as I am thinking "Aw shut it Meem" WHAM!

I ran into the coffee table. HARD. REALLY HARD.

My knee hit it just right. you know - in that soft spot to the side of your knee cap? YEAH, that one.

I immediately fell onto the couch... tears springing forth, ticking me off even more. I have what looks like half a golf ball next to my knee cap and now I walk all gimpy.

My dear, sweet, compassionate husband could not stop laughing long enough to see if I was ok. Precious.

My three year old was the only compassionate soul in my house. She came and hugged on me and said "Is alright Mamma".

My "darling" teenagers mockingly said (again) "That's why you're not supposed to run in the house... MOM"

Damn...

Lesson learned

Mawwage...

Mawwage is wat bwings us togedder today..."Waav... twue waav..."

Sorry guys... I just had to quote one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride -

Monty and I got back from our weekend all giddy & lovey-dovey. (this is where you start to gag)

Well, we got home to reality again.

Apparently ANTS have decided to take up residence with us. I HATE ants. My younger daughters are horrified by this statement because they have this "disney-fied" idea of everything. No kids, this is not "A Bugs Life" we're runnung here.

I am grossed out. My baby, Jin, decided to try to win me over. She brought one to me on her hand and said "see Mom? This is a nice ant" AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Monty could not do anything last night when he got home until the entire inside and out of the house was sprayed.

We have a mysterious leak in our daughters bathroom. It is so strange...out in the middle of the floor, and my big brother is going to have to help us with this one...

Our ceiling leaked in our master bathroom while we were gone. A large peel of popcorn ceiling greeted us when we came home... I hate popcorn ceilings.

AAAND, Ben Franklin screwed me up with his silly Daylight savings time. Jin wakes me up every couple hours - - why? I dont know. But that, coupled with losing an hour makes Joygirl a very cranky girl.

This is a small sampling of what we have been dealing with.

The thing that has kept all of this in perspective is my marriage.

Yeah, this weekend was awesome. We had so much fun - - we met some really cool people, made some new friends, and got to reconnect this weekend. But then we came home to near disasters coming from every corner. Reality...

Monday was all about coping. by last night however, we were spent. We decided to put all the kids to bed 30 minutes early and watch a movie together. We had rented a movie called "The Story of Us" with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer. We sat down to watch it and because of this movie got to reconnect again in the most simplistic way.


That movie will make you laugh, cry and relate so easily if you are married. Some of the arguments they had were almost verbatim to what Monty and I have fought about. The characters go through this time when they evaluate their life together and come to major realizations about who they are and how they are together and realize that they have invested so much into their life that it was foolish to give that up. It happens in such a realistic way. By the end of the movie we were both crying. After the movie was over we just sat there and told each other how incredible it is to be married to each other - - and how lucky we are - -how hard we will always work for us, through it all - - to continue to create the story of us.