Kotex Tips for Life

I dont know who wrote this -- but it gave me such a laugh that I had to post it! Ladies, get ready for a chuckle... Gentlemen --try to keep up.

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch
of"Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

*Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
*Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
*Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
*Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed
a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that
drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we
need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I
triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back.

I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders
will be females who just ovulated.
Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the
only activities that interest me is Eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for
no apparent reason.. ...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a
friggen' activity?????
Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine
hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from
elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own
recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbiturates.
Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is
enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces
or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the
crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly
and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just
add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that...helloooo,
another female in the store is starting!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and
shove them right up your ___!
P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to
your packages instead?